When asked, “Can we have a bonfire on Saturday night?” it would behoove you to remember that life, for a teenager, starts at 8pm.
So when you’re finishing dinner and thinking, oooh, I’m all warm and cozy and it’s getting late so I will get to go to bed soon…. remember THAT is when the first teenager will show up on your doorstep.
And it’s FINE. Because you said, “OF COURSE YOU CAN!” Always veer to the side of yes, when asked for permission to do things! Unless there’s a really good reason to say no, be the kind of person who says yes.
And when you have to start the fire, it’s also good to remember that your son was the literal boy scout. Your husband, while a metaphorical boy scout, was the adult chaperone. And the boy scout chaperone rule is, “Let them figure it out themselves.” Which, again, IS GREAT! Because they learn how to do things! But that means your husband might not be the best at building a fire. And while you want to just let him figure it out for himself, at a certain point, you can no longer stand the smoke that is pouring out of the firepit (which is, in itself, rather amazing, considering there are no actual flames).
So, while brushing past them and grabbing the lighter fluid from under the grill, and giving it a quick little squirt onto the logs, it would also be good to remember that the teenagers are *watching*. You might think nothing of it, because you’re tuning out the, “Really? Was that necessary?” judgy comments from your husband, and thinking, “well, at least there will be fire.” And you put the lighter fluid back, and go back into the house with nary a word to anyone.
And it’s FINE, you think, as you go back to cleaning up the dinner dishes. More teenagers show up. The dishes are almost done. And you hear the door open.
“Hey mom! Where’s the lighter? And the lighter fluid?” And you tell your kid, “Under the grill”, without even thinking about it. Because your husband is still out there, and it should be fine, right?
RIGHT?!
And then you hear, “THAT’S TOO MUCH!” and “WOW! THAT’S SO COOL!”
And THAT, my friend, is the moment you go into your office, text your neighbors to tell them to please feel free to yell at the kids if they are too loud, and pour a glass of wine.
Because it’s only 8:30. And their party has just begun.
